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monologue
Comedy
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Act III, Scene 5 — Falstaff's Account of the Thames

from The Merry Wives of Windsor

Written by William Shakespeare

Sir John Falstaff recounts his humiliating ordeal of being smuggled out of a house in a laundry basket and tossed into the River Thames. He complains about the indignity of the situation and his physical aversion to drowning.

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FALSTAFF: Have I lived to be carried in a basket like a barrow of butcher’s offal? And to be thrown in the Thames? Well, if I be served such another trick, I’ll have my brains ta’en out and buttered, and give them to a dog for a New Year’s gift. The rogues slighted me into the river with as little r

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CharactersFalstaff
Duration1.5 min
Age Range45-55
GenderMale
GenreComedy
PeriodClassical
Formatmonologue
SourceThe Merry Wives of Windsor
Tonecomedic
AccentRP
Suitable Fordrama school audition, general practice, competition
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