Comedy Monologues

Twelfth Night

by William Shakespeare

Sebastian reels from a whirlwind encounter with Olivia, who has mistaken him for his twin sister Viola in disguise. He attempts to rationalize his sudden good fortune and the lady's apparent sanity despite her erratic behavior toward him.

Dags

by Debra Oswald

A confessional, infatuated, self-deprecating Gillian's monologue from "Dags" by Debra Oswald.

Boring Sex Dream

by Alexander Lee-Rekers

Althea recounts a frustratingly mundane sex dream to her ex-partner, Chris. She uses the dream's bureaucratic setting to highlight the lack of passion and the clinical nature of their past relationship.

Pramkicker

by Sadie Hasler

A frustrated, reflective, angry Jude's monologue from "Pramkicker" by Sadie Hasler.

Hello, Dolly!

by Michael Stewart

A joyful, romantic, reflective, enthusiastic Cornelius's monologue from "Hello, Dolly!" by Michael Stewart. Genre: comedy.

Unknown

by Rachel Soland

A young man rants to his friend over a headset about his frustrations with dating. He complains that women don't appreciate his lifestyle or his lack of hygiene and domestic maintenance.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

by William Shakespeare

Helena laments the unrequited nature of her love for Demetrius and his obsession with Hermia. She reflects on the irrationality of love before deciding to betray Hermia's secret flight to Demetrius in hopes of gaining his attention.

The Foreigner

by Larry Shue

Ellard, a young man often underestimated by his family, attempts to teach Charlie, whom he believes speaks no English, the names of basic kitchen utensils. Through slow, exaggerated demonstrations and patience, Ellard experiences a rare moment of confidence as a teacher.

Parks and Recreation

by Greg Daniels, Michael Schur

Leslie Knope introduces herself and her deep-seated passion for the American political system. Despite her grand ambitions and love for the 'majesty' of government, she is revealed to be working in a cramped office in Pawnee, Indiana.

Eve's Diary

by Mark Twain

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The Pretentious Young Ladies

by Molière

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An Ideal Husband

by Oscar Wilde

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My Fair Lady

by Alan Jay Lerner, Frederick Loewe

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Addams Family Values

by Paul Rudnick

During a forced Thanksgiving pageant at summer camp, Wednesday Addams goes off-script to deliver a scathing indictment of colonialism before leading a revolt. She contrasts the future suffering of indigenous people with the mundane luxuries of the pilgrims.

Barbie

by Greta Gerwig, Noah Baumbach

A narrator describes the whimsical, logic-defying reality of Barbie Land as Barbie goes through her morning routine. The scene highlights the imaginative play of children where physical laws like gravity and functional plumbing are replaced by the joy of 'nothing' and 'magic'.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona

by William Shakespeare

Valentine, living in exile in the forest, reflects on how he has grown accustomed to solitude. He laments his separation from Silvia and expresses his deep melancholy before being interrupted by the arrival of others.

The Foreigner

by Larry Shue

A earnest, simple, helpful, slightly bewildered Ellard Simms's monologue from "The Foreigner" by Larry Shue. Genre: comedy.

Little Murderers

by Jules Feiffer

A desperate, pleading, emotional, determined Patsy's monologue from "Little Murderers" by Jules Feiffer. Genre: comedy.

The Rehearsal

by Don Zolidis

A sarcastic, passive-aggressive, enthusiastic (feigned) Morgan's monologue from "The Rehearsal" by Don Zolidis. Genre: comedy.

Bye Bye Birdie

by Michael Stewart

A desperate, enthusiastic, persuasive Ursula's monologue from "Bye Bye Birdie" by Michael Stewart. Genre: comedy.

The Matchmaker

by Thornton Wilder

Cornelius Hackl, a clerk from Yonkers, marvels at the beauty and mystery of women after spending a day in New York City. He reflects on his newfound courage and his willingness to risk his livelihood for the sake of adventure and romance.

The Importance of Being Earnest

by Oscar Wilde

Gwendolen discovers that her fiancé, Ernest (Jack), has a young and beautiful ward named Cecily. She attempts to maintain Victorian politeness while expressing her deep insecurity and jealousy regarding Cecily's 'alluring' appearance.

Much Ado About Nothing

by William Shakespeare

Benedick muses on the absurdity of his friend Claudio falling in love and changing his soldierly ways. He lists the impossible criteria a woman must meet to win his own heart before hiding to eavesdrop on his friends.

The Devil Wears Prada

by David Frankel, Aline Brosh McKenna

A sardonic, condescending, authoritative, intelligent Miranda Priestly's monologue from "The Devil Wears Prada" by David Frankel and Aline Brosh McKenna.

The Servant of Two Masters

by Carlo Goldoni, Bonnie J. Monte

A frustrated, hungry, self-pitying, humorous Truffaldino's monologue from "The Servant of Two Masters" by Carlo Goldoni (translated/adapted by Bonnie J. Monte). Genre: comedy.

Addams Family Values

by Paul Rudnick

Debbie Jellinsky has the Addams family strapped into electric chairs while she delivers a manic, self-pitying presentation about her history of murdering husbands for failing to meet her high expectations.

The Way of The World

by William Congreve

A sophisticated prologue in which the speaker addresses the audience to manage expectations for the upcoming play. He humorously critiques the plight of poets and humbly submits the author's work to the audience's judgment, emphasizing a desire to please rather than moralize.

The 40-Year-Old Virgin

by Judd Apatow, Steve Carell

Andy describes his weekend to his coworkers, revealing a painstakingly detailed and solitary process of preparing an egg salad sandwich. The story serves as a humorous but poignant illustration of his social isolation and his tendency to overthink simple tasks.

Promedy

by Wade Bradford

A passionate, determined, slightly desperate Beatrix's monologue from "Promedy" by Wade Bradford.

Laughing Wild

by Christopher Durang

A sarcastic, self-aware, anxious, striving for positivity Man's monologue from "Laughing Wild" by Christopher Durang.

Noises Off

by Michael Frayn

A exasperated, busy, slightly confused Dotty's monologue from "Noises Off" by Michael Frayn.

As You Like It

by William Shakespeare

Jaques delivers a cynical yet profound meditation on the seven stages of human life, from infancy to old age and eventual death. He compares the world to a theater where every individual is merely an actor playing a sequence of roles.

Feiffer’s People

by Jules Feiffer

A frustrated, introspective, humorous Bernard's monologue from "Feiffer’s People" by Jules Feiffer. Genre: comedy.

The Matchmaker

by Thornton Wilder

Cornelius Hackl, a sheltered clerk from Yonkers, expresses his newfound wonder and awe after having a real conversation with a woman for the first time. He reflects on the mysterious nature of women and decides that this single day of adventure is worth risking his entire career for.

Easy A

by Bert V. Royal

Olive Penderghast addresses her webcam to set the record straight about the false rumors regarding her sexual reputation. She sarcastically reflects on her previous anonymity and the events that led to her becoming the center of high school gossip.

The Taming of the Shrew

by William Shakespeare

Petruchio addresses the audience to explain his psychological strategy for 'taming' Katherine. He compares his methods to training a falcon, intending to deprive her of food and sleep under the guise of caring for her well-being.

The Merry Wives of Windsor

by William Shakespeare

Sir John Falstaff recounts his humiliating ordeal of being smuggled out of a house in a laundry basket and dumped into the River Thames. He expresses his outrage and wounded pride, vowing never to be fooled so ignobly again.

Chewing Gum Dreams

by Michaela Coel

A anxious, humorous, stream-of-consciousness, teenage angst Tracey's monologue from "Chewing Gum Dreams" by Michaela Coel.

The Good Place

by Barry Luc

Michael, an architect of the afterlife, explains the complex points-based system that determined why the gathered crowd has been admitted to 'The Good Place'. He reveals the existence of soulmates and the grim fate of those who didn't make the cut, all while maintaining a cheerful, slightly eccentric demeanor.

Easy A

by Bert V. Royal

Olive Penderghast addresses her peers through a webcam to address the escalating rumors regarding her promiscuity. She adopts a witty, self-deprecating tone to reclaim her narrative and set the record straight about her reputation.

The Bachelor Party

by Paddy Chayefsky

Helen reflects on her husband Charlie's sweet and predictable nature while discussing his upcoming bachelor party. She shares a tender, humorous anecdote about waking him up in the middle of the night to ask if he loves her, revealing her deep affection and the contentment of her pregnancy.

Laughing Wild

by Christopher Durang

A frustrated, exasperated, unhinged, observational Woman's monologue from "Laughing Wild" by Christopher Durang.

As You Like It

by William Shakespeare

Jaques delivers a cynical yet profound meditation on the cycle of human life, comparing existence to a theatrical performance. He outlines the seven stages of man, from infancy to extreme old age, highlighting the inevitability of decline and the performative nature of social roles.

Dream Girl

by Elmer Rice

A contemplative, self-deprecating, hopeful Georgina's monologue from "Dream Girl" by Elmer Rice. Genre: comedy.

The Big Lebowski

by Ethan, Joel Coen

A mysterious narrator introduces the audience to Jeff 'The Dude' Lebowski, an exceptionally lazy man living in 1990s Los Angeles. The narrator sets the scene and tone of the story while the Dude performs the mundane task of buying milk with a post-dated check.

The School for Wives

by Molière

Arnolphe reels from the discovery that his ward, Agnès, has outsmarted him by sending a secret letter to her lover. He struggles with a volatile mix of fury over his wounded pride and the painful realization that he is genuinely in love with the woman he tried to keep ignorant.

As You Like It

by William Shakespeare

Rosalind breaks the fourth wall to deliver the play's epilogue, playfully acknowledging the conventions of theater and gender. She charms the audience by 'conjuring' both the men and women to like the play, using wit and a reference to her own cross-dressing disguise to secure their applause.

Twelfth Night

by William Shakespeare

Malvolio discovers a forged love letter planted by Maria, which he believes is from his mistress, Olivia. He meticulously analyzes the handwriting and cryptic riddles, ultimately falling into the trap of believing he is destined for greatness and Olivia's hand in marriage.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

by William Shakespeare

Bottom awakens alone in the woods after his magical transformation and encounter with the Fairy Queen, Titania. He struggles to articulate the profound and surreal nature of his 'vision,' ultimately deciding to have a ballad written about the experience to perform for the Duke.

Slam Dunk

Carson launches into a scathing critique of the movie 'The Secret Agent,' detailing its numerous screenwriting flaws, from a lack of clear plot to nonsensical character developments and random, unexplained events. He uses the film as an example of bad screenwriting and offers advice on how to avoid similar mistakes.

Tartuffe

by Molière

Cléante delivers a sophisticated argument to his brother-in-law Orgon, distinguishing between genuine religious piety and the performative hypocrisy of Tartuffe. He warns that those who use faith as a weapon for personal gain are the most dangerous members of society.

Get Him to the Greek

by Nicholas Stoller

Aldous Snow has a moment of vulnerable clarity as he confesses his deep, albeit dysfunctional, love for his ex-girlfriend Jackie Q. He recounts a specific, wild memory that made him realize his feelings were real and expresses regret over his estrangement from their child.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

by Jack Bernstein, Tom Shadyac, Jim Carrey

Ace Ventura experiences a frantic, sleep-deprived breakthrough while trying to connect the disgraced kicker Ray Finkle to Lt. Lois Einhorn. After a night of mental exhaustion, a visual fluke involving his dog's ears reveals the shocking truth that Einhorn is actually Finkle in disguise.

The Rehearsal

by Don Zolidis

Morgan, a high school actress, delivers a passive-aggressive and highly caffeinated introduction to her castmates. While claiming to be a 'team player,' she thinly veils her jealousy over not getting the lead role and her awkward excitement about kissing her co-star.

Borat Subsequent Moviefilm

by Sacha Baron Cohen, Anthony Hines, Dan Swimer, Peter Baynham, Erica Rivinoja, Dan Mazer, Jena Friedman, Lee Kern

Borat recounts his fall from grace following the global success of his first documentary, which inadvertently turned Kazakhstan into a laughing stock. He describes the economic collapse of his country and his subsequent life sentence of hard labor as he seeks a path toward redemption.

The Two Gentlemen of Verona

by William Shakespeare

Proteus experiences a sudden and overwhelming shift in affection, realizing that his new infatuation with Silvia has completely erased his loyalty to his former love, Julia. He struggles with the moral implications of his betrayal while succumbing to a 'reasonless' obsession.