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    Comedy

    Rebound Mary Poppins

    from New Girl

    Written by Elizabeth Meriwether

    New Girl

    Schmidt gives Jess a harsh pep talk on how to hide her 'crazy' and land a rebound, while Nick offers cynical commentary on his methods.

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    SCHMIDT

    Now listen to me. I know at some point someone in your life told you that it was okay to be exactly who you are and that one day you’d find a man who loves the real you- a man who just lives to rub on your hairy, hairy legs. That’s not going to be tonight. You’re going to take off that sweater, because it smells like apple sauce... And you’re…

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    Written by Elizabeth Meriwether for the television comedy series New Girl, this fast-paced group scene showcases a chaotic friendship dynamic around modern dating. Schmidt takes on the role of an aggressive relationship coach, delivering a brutally direct pep talk to help a heartbroken Jess pick up a stranger. Meanwhile, Nick stands by as a sardonic bystander, offering dry commentary on the questionable makeover advice unfolding at the bar.

    Character Analysis

    Schmidt is an intense, hyper-particular young professional who approaches social interactions with tactical precision and unshakeable confidence. Nick provides the cynical everyman foil, watching the train wreck unfold with amused resignation and deadpan snark. Jess rounds out the trio with earnest awkwardness, desperately attempting to project cool sophistication while remaining delightfully incapable of masking her quirky nature.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    This piece is an exceptional showcase for comedic timing, non-verbal physical choices, and active listening in a group setting. Elizabeth Meriwether crafts sharp, layered dialogue that requires performers to bounce off one another without dropping the rapid conversational pace. It offers clear, distinct objectives for each actor, letting casting directors see strong comedic archetypes working together in under two minutes.

    Best Suited For

    Performers in the 25 to 35 age range will find this material ideal for group scene work, classroom study, or general practice. It is especially effective for an agent showcase or collaborative self-tape targeting contemporary network comedy. Actors playing into Comic Relief, Best Friend, Quirky, or Everyman casting types will find ample room to stand out.

    Performance Tips

    Commit fully to the reality of the situation rather than playing strictly for laughs. Schmidt must deliver his critique with absolute sincerity and urgency, as if the stakes could not be higher. Nick should master the economy of reaction, using stillness and underplayed delivery to puncture the tension. For Jess, let the physical comedy emerge naturally from trying too hard; the humor lands hardest when the attempt to appear normal is completely genuine.

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