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    The Bill of Fare

    from She Stoops to Conquer

    Written by Oliver Goldsmith

    4 min · 3 characters · Male · 25-35

    Act II, Scene 1. Marlow and Hastings, mistakenly believing they are at an inn rather than a private estate, treat their host Hardcastle with appalling rudeness. They dismiss his elaborate supper menu and insist on inspecting the kitchen and bedrooms, leaving the bewildered Hardcastle to marvel at their 'modern modesty'.

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    Scene PreviewExcerpt — subscribe to read full scene

    MARLOW

    Instead of the battle of Belgrade, I believe it’s almost time to talk about supper. What has your philosophy got in the house for supper?

    HARDCASTLE

    For supper, sir!

    HARDCASTLE

    Was ever such a request to a man in his own house?

    MARLOW

    Yes, sir, supper, sir; I begin to feel an appetite. I shall make devilish work to-night in the larder, I promise…

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    Taken from Act II, Scene 1 of Oliver Goldsmith's classic comedy *She Stoops to Conquer*, this scene turns on a chaotic case of mistaken identity. Young gentlemen Marlow and Hastings arrive at the country estate of Mr. Hardcastle under the false impression that his private home is merely a commercial inn. Believing Hardcastle to be an over-familiar innkeeper, the pair dismiss his conversation and critique his hospitality, demanding to inspect the kitchen provisions for supper. Hardcastle is left astonished by their brazen behavior while struggling to uphold his position as their host.

    Character Analysis

    Marlow drives the interaction with an unapologetic, high-handed entitlement, completely unaware of the offense he is causing. Hastings supports his friend's demands, treating Hardcastle's gentlemanly pride with mocking condescension. Hardcastle anchors the comic friction, torn between hospitality and shock as his authority is dismantled in his own parlor. The comedy relies on the sharp division between the young men's casual arrogance and the older gentleman's suppressed outrage.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    This three-hander offers exceptional material for testing comic timing, listening, and dramatic irony within an eighteenth-century framework. Because the audience understands the misunderstanding while the young men do not, the humor builds organically through each escalating social infraction. Actors can demonstrate vocal dexterity, rhythm, and the ability to pivot between direct dialogue and internal asides. It provides each performer with distinct comedic beats without requiring elaborate physical staging.

    Best Suited For

    This scene is an ideal selection for drama school auditions, scene study classes, and acting competitions focused on classical comedy. It suits actors playing upper-class, character, or patriarch types who want to showcase elevated language and physical poise. It is also well fitted for performers in their twenties and thirties collaborating with a versatile character actor.

    Performance Tips

    Commit completely to the reality of the misunderstanding rather than playing the joke. Marlow and Hastings should genuinely believe they are handling an eccentric landlord, as any knowing wink to the audience undermines the dramatic tension. Hardcastle should allow his confusion to build incrementally, creating crisp distinctions between his polite spoken responses and his exasperated private thoughts. Focus on rapid verbal tennis and keep the eighteenth-century etiquette sharp, allowing the social transgressions to deliver the laughs.

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