Fiona's Bargain with God — When I Was a Girl, I Used to Scream and Shout

Fiona, a teenage girl in Scotland, attempts to negotiate with God after a sexual encounter. She lists her recent good deeds and the potential fallout of an unplanned pregnancy as leverage to avoid being pregnant.

FIONA: That's worth something, isn't it? God. Are you listening? I'm not trying to bribe you. It's plain economics. I mean, I've made a mistake. It was my fault and I was wrong. I take it all on me. OK. Now if you let it make me pregnant... God. Listen, will you. If I'm pregnant it'll ruin four people's lives. Five. Right?

Format: Monologue · Genre: Drama · Source: When I Was a Girl, I Used to Scream and Shout · Author: Sharman Macdonald · Characters: Fiona

About This Scene

This dramatic monologue, "Fiona's Bargain with God," features a teenage girl grappling with the raw aftermath of a sexual encounter. Fiona, in a deeply vulnerable state, directly addresses a higher power, attempting to negotiate her way out of an unplanned pregnancy. The scene captures a pivotal moment of fear and desperation, highlighting her internal struggle and a desperate plea for intervention.

Character Analysis

Fiona is a contemporary Scottish teenager in a moment of profound crisis. Her character is defined by a sense of burgeoning maturity underscored by youthful naivete and panic. She reveals a keen awareness of potential consequences for not just herself, but also those around her, showing a nascent sense of responsibility. Despite her fear, there's a strong undercurrent of determination as she attempts to logic her way through an emotional predicament, believing she can bargain with fate.

Why This Works for Auditions

"Fiona's Bargain with God" offers a powerful two-minute dramatic monologue perfect for showcasing a young actor's range. It requires a genuine portrayal of vulnerability, urgency, and the complex emotions associated with fear, regret, and desperate hope. The conversational yet intense nature of the piece allows for dynamic shifts in tone and pacing, making it an excellent vehicle to demonstrate authenticity and emotional depth within a limited timeframe.

Best Suited For

This monologue is particularly well-suited for young female actors under 18 aiming for drama school auditions, self-tapes, or general practice. It's an excellent choice for those looking to embody ingénue, vulnerable, teenager, dramatic, or girl-next-door casting types. Actors who can tap into genuine and relatable youthful anxiety while navigating a serious topic will find this scene a compelling and effective choice.

Performance Tips

When approaching "Fiona's Bargain with God," focus on the immediate, visceral fear and the genuine desire to negotiate. Allow the words to come from a place of urgent need, rather than a pre-meditated speech. Pay close attention to the rhythm of her thought process, as she tries different angles in her plea. Embrace the vulnerability and allow for moments of quiet desperation to punctuate her more assertive attempts at bargaining, ensuring the performance feels grounded and deeply human.