Film
duologue
Comedy-Drama

The Orchid Heist Pitch

from Adaptation

Written by Charlie Kaufman

Adaptation

Charlie Kaufman pitches his unconventional vision for an adaptation to a studio executive, rejecting traditional Hollywood tropes and plot structures.

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Scene PreviewExcerpt — subscribe to read full scene

KAUFMAN

I'm old. I'm bald. I'm repulsive.

VALERIE

We think you're just great.

KAUFMAN

Oh, thank you.

VALERIE

And we're thrilled you're interested.

KAUFMAN

Oh, thanks, wow. That's nice to hear.

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

This dynamic duologue, "The Orchid Heist Pitch," features Kaufman, a screenwriter, as he attempts to pitch his unconventional vision for an adaptation to Valerie, a studio executive. Set in a contemporary Los Angeles business lunch restaurant, the scene immediately establishes an atmosphere of awkwardness and subtle power dynamics. Kaufman is clearly uncomfortable and self-conscious, struggling to articulate his creative integrity while Valerie maintains a polite yet probing demeanor, highlighting the tension between artistic vision and commercial demands in Hollywood.

Character Analysis

Kaufman, depicted as an Outsider and Everyman, is a character burdened by self-doubt and social anxiety, even as he possesses immense creative conviction. His physical discomfort and internal monologue drive much of the scene's quirky comedy, revealing a man who prioritizes artistic truth over formulaic storytelling. Valerie, on the other hand, embodies the Business Executive casting type, poised and professional, yet subtly challenging Kaufman to align his vision with studio expectations. Her role is to represent the pragmatic, commercial side of the industry, creating a compelling contrast with Kaufman's more artistic, almost obsessive, approach.

Why This Works for Auditions

"The Orchid Heist Pitch" is an excellent choice for auditions due to its rich subtext and opportunities for nuanced character portrayal. The scene allows actors to showcase their ability to navigate complex emotional landscapes, from nervous tics and self-consciousness to intellectual passion and quiet defiance. Its Comedy-Drama genre means performers can demonstrate a strong command of both humor and underlying tension, making it versatile for various casting calls that seek an actor with a unique voice and precise comedic timing.

Best Suited For

This scene is particularly well-suited for male actors in the 35-45 age range looking to portray characters that are Quirky, Intense, or Outsider types. The Kaufman role is perfect for showcasing vulnerability, intellectual intensity, and an awkward charm, while Valerie offers a grounded, observant counterpart. It’s ideal for self-tapes where physical reactions and subtle facial expressions can shine, as well as for agent showcases where a memorable, character-driven piece is desired to demonstrate depth and range.

Performance Tips

When performing this scene, actors should focus on the subtext and non-verbal communication, as much of the dialogue's meaning is conveyed through unspoken actions and reactions. For Kaufman, lean into the physical manifestations of anxiety and self-consciousness, allowing them to inform his intellectual struggle to articulate his vision. For Valerie, maintain a facade of professional politeness while subtly conveying her assessment of Kaufman's pitch and his idiosyncratic personality. Emphasize the comedic timing of their interactions, particularly the uncomfortable pauses and repeated gestures, to fully capture the scene's unique tone.

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