Film
duologue
surreal comedy
2 Characters

The Portal Pitch

from Being John Malkovich

Written by Charlie Kaufman

Craig frantically explains his discovery of a supernatural portal that leads into the mind of actor John Malkovich. While Craig is preoccupied with the existential and philosophical implications, the cynical Maxine immediately identifies a way to monetize the experience.

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CRAIG

Don't you want to know what happened to me?

MAXINE

No.

CRAIG

This is important!

MAXINE

It better be.

CRAIG

There's a tiny door in that empty office. It's a portal, Maxine. It takes you inside John Malkovich. You see the world through John Malkovich's eyes, then, after about fifteen minutes, you're spit out into a ditch on the side of The New Jersey…

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

This captivating duologue from *Being John Malkovich* presents a truly unique and outlandish premise, setting the stage for a comedic exploration of human nature. Craig, a desperate and bewildered puppeteer, attempts to convey his mind-bending discovery of a portal into the consciousness of actor John Malkovich. His earnest, philosophical struggles are met with the sharp, cynical pragmatism of Maxine, who sees only dollar signs in this supernatural phenomenon.

Character Analysis

Craig is a character grappling with an existential crisis, overwhelmed by the profound implications of his discovery. He is earnest, somewhat naive, and prone to dramatic declarations, yet also deeply yearning for validation and connection. Maxine, in contrast, is the epitome of cynicism and manipulation, instantly looking for ways to profit from the bizarre. She is sharp, unsentimental, and possesses a quick, business-minded wit, making her an excellent foil for Craig's wide-eyed wonder.

Why This Works for Auditions

"The Portal Pitch" is an excellent choice for auditions due to its immediate conflict and clear character objectives. The scene provides ample opportunity for actors to showcase a wide range of emotions, from Craig's desperation and bewilderment to Maxine's cynical amusement and cunning. Its surreal comedic tone also allows for bold and memorable choices, making a strong impression on casting directors by demonstrating versatility and a strong grasp of comedic timing and character work. The duologue format ensures both actors have significant stage time and compelling material to work with.

Best Suited For

This scene is ideally suited for actors in their 30s-40s looking for material that highlights both comedic and dramatic skills within a contemporary setting. It is perfect for those who can embody an "Everyman" or "Outsider" type for Craig, while Maxine is excellently suited for an actor comfortable with playing a "Femme Fatale" or "Business Executive" archetype with a quirky edge. Actors who excel at playing characters with strong, contrasting points of view and who can effectively navigate a rapid-fire comedic exchange will particularly shine here, making it a strong piece for agents, showcases, self-tapes, and general practice.

Performance Tips

For Craig, lean into the genuine bewilderment and philosophical angst, ensuring his desperation feels earned and not simply played for laughs. His shifts from existential dread to puppy-dog affection for Maxine should be clear and distinct. For Maxine, focus on her unwavering cynicism and how quickly her mind moves to monetization; her dry delivery and dismissive attitude will create effective comedic contrast. Both actors should pay close attention to the rhythm of the dialogue, allowing the quick back-and-forth volley to build momentum and define their characters' dynamic. Embrace the surreal nature of the premise, but ground your characters' reactions in their individual realities and strong objectives.

CharactersCraig, Maxine
Duration2:30
Age Range30s-40s
Gendermale & female
Genresurreal comedy
PeriodContemporary
Formatduologue
SourceBeing John Malkovich
Tonedesperate, bewildered, cynical, manipulative
Suitable Foragent showcase, self tape, general practice
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