Lester — Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but

Written by Charlie Kaufman for the BAFTA-winning film Being John Malkovich, this contemporary comedic duologue features an unforgettable job interview on an impossible office floor. The scene unfolds between Craig Schwartz, an applicant in his thirties seeking employment as a filer, and Dr. Lester, the eccentric elderly head of LesterCorp. Blending sharp absurdist comedy with moments of unexpected melancholy, this piece tests both actors through rapid shifts in logic and bizarre conversational hurdles.

Dr. Lester is a classic eccentric authority figure who operates entirely within his own distorted reality. Despite his advanced years and professional standing, he swings unpredictably between paranoia, testiness, and profound emotional vulnerability regarding his perceived communicative flaws. Craig, by contrast, embodies the desperate Everyman striving to maintain composure, deference, and polite professionalism in an environment that defies basic common sense.

Running at roughly two and a half minutes, this piece serves as an exceptional showcase for deadpan comedic timing and high-stakes absurdity. Rather than relying on overt physical gags, the comedy thrives on dramatic irony and sincere commitment to bizarre premises. Casting directors get an immediate look at an actor's ability to ground surreal dialogue in truthful objectives without winking at the audience.

This duologue is ideally suited for self-tapes, agent showcases, general practice, and comedic competition rounds. Mature character actors who excel at playing delightfully offbeat authority figures will relish Lester, while thirty-something performers seeking a grounded straight-man role will find Craig an engaging vehicle for subtle, reactive comedy.

The golden rule for performing Charlie Kaufman's dialogue is total earnestness; never play the joke or signal that the situation is unusual. For Lester, fully believe your personal delusions and invest genuine emotional weight into your perceived isolation rather than playing pure madness. For Craig, keep your underlying objective clear: you need this job, so treat every strange conversational curveball as a real professional obstacle you must tactfully navigate.