Film
duologue
Comedy
2 Characters

Lester — Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but

from Being John Malkovich

Written by Charlie Kaufman

Craig Schwartz interviews for a filing position at the bizarre LesterCorp, located on the 7 1/2 floor of an office building. The eccentric Dr. Lester tests Craig's filing skills with nonsensical questions and reveals his delusional belief that he suffers from a severe speech impediment.

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LESTER

Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but, well, you know.

CRAIG

Actually, my name is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.

LESTER

Security.

CRAIG

No, it's okay, sir. Just a mixup with your secretary.

LESTER

She's not my secretary. She's what they call an executive liaison, and I'm not banging her, if that's what you’re implying.

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

This engaging duologue, "Lester — Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but," plunges an actor into the wonderfully bizarre world of Charlie Kaufman's *Being John Malkovich*. The scene captures a job interview between the earnest Craig Schwartz and the profoundly eccentric Dr. Lester at the surreal LesterCorp. Set on the infamous 7 1/2 floor, this encounter immediately establishes an absurdist tone as Lester tests Craig's filing abilities with nonsensical questions and reveals his deeply delusional self-perception.

Character Analysis

Lester is a truly unique character, a powerful yet utterly deluded authority figure convinced he suffers from a severe speech impediment, despite speaking perfectly clearly. His persona is a fascinating blend of corporate power and deeply personal, quirky vulnerabilities, constantly seeking validation for his self-diagnosed affliction. Craig, on the other hand, represents the Everyman attempting to navigate an utterly illogical situation, maintaining a professional demeanor while being subtly pushed to his limits by Lester's bizarre pronouncements and tests. The dynamic between Lester's firm conviction in his delusion and Craig's polite, bewildered reality is the core of their interaction.

Why This Works for Auditions

This scene offers exceptional material for auditions due to its distinct genre and rich character work. The blend of comedy and underlying pathos allows actors to showcase a broad emotional range within a short timeframe, from comedic timing to subtle vulnerability. The clear power dynamic and the escalating absurdity provide a strong framework for demonstrating nuanced reactions and proactive choices, making it perfect for displaying an actor's ability to play off a scene partner in a high-stakes, yet unconventional, situation.

Best Suited For

This duologue is ideal for character actors and those comfortable with absurdist or quirky comedic material. It particularly suits male actors in the 30s range for Craig and 70s+ for Lester, aligning with the specified age ranges. Actors looking to demonstrate their ability to portray either an authoritative figure with a peculiar flaw (Lester) or an Everyman trying to maintain composure amidst chaos (Craig) will find this scene highly effective. It's an excellent choice for general practice, self-tapes, agent showcases, or even competitions, particularly where a memorable and unique performance is desired.

Performance Tips

For Lester, embrace the absolute conviction in his delusion; his "speech impediment" is completely real to him, despite all evidence. Find moments to lean into his sense of injury and loneliness, which grounds the absurdity in something relatable. For Craig, focus on the subtle internal struggle of trying to remain professional and polite in an increasingly bizarre and frustrating scenario, allowing moments of disbelief or quiet exasperation to surface authentically. Both actors should play the objective with full commitment, letting the humor arise naturally from the situation and the characters' unwavering beliefs, rather than playing for laughs.

CharactersLester, Craig
Duration2:30
Age Range30s (Craig), 70s+ (Lester)
Gendermale
GenreComedy
PeriodContemporary
Formatduologue
SourceBeing John Malkovich
ToneAbsurdist, quirky, slightly melancholic
Suitable Foragent showcase, self tape, general practice, competition
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