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    Comedy

    Veronica Tells Dante the Number Is Thirty-Seven

    from Clerks

    Written by Kevin Smith

    Clerks

    3 min · 3 characters · Any gender · 18-25

    Dante has a massive panic attack when he discovers his girlfriend Veronica has performed oral sex on significantly more men than he anticipated.

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    Scene PreviewExcerpt — subscribe to read full scene

    VERONICA

    Bye.

    to DANTE

    That was Snowball.

    DANTE

    Why do you call him that?

    VERONICA

    Sylvan made it up. It's a blow job thing.

    DANTE

    What do you mean?

    VERONICA

    After he gets a blow job, he likes to have the cum spit back into his mouth while kissing. It's called snowballing.

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    Written by Kevin Smith, this comedic argument from the contemporary film Clerks centers on sudden insecurity and unresolved relationship conflict. Dante experiences an escalating spiral of panic behind the counter when he learns that his girlfriend, Veronica, has a significantly more extensive sexual history than he previously understood. The private discussion rapidly deteriorates into mutual frustration, briefly punctuated by an unsuspecting customer who walks right into the crossfire.

    Character Analysis

    Dante is an anxious Everyman type whose fragile pride and rigid assumptions crumble in real time, shifting rapidly from mild disbelief to overwhelming distress and physical nausea. Veronica is a pragmatic, confident, and direct partner who views her past without shame, growing increasingly exasperated by Dante's sudden moral outrage and inability to let the matter rest. The Customer provides a brief, deadpan contrast to the central couple, highlighting the absurdity of having an intensely private debate in an open retail setting.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    This scene offers performers a brilliant exercise in high-stakes conversational comedy driven by authentic interpersonal friction rather than exaggerated physical gags. Dante has the opportunity to navigate a sustained emotional arc of shock, wounded ego, and rising panic, while Veronica must balance composure, honesty, and defensive irritation. The rapid back-and-forth dialogue allows both actors to demonstrate sharp comedic timing, active listening, and the ability to find genuine emotional stakes inside an outrageous premise.

    Best Suited For

    The piece is ideally matched for actors playing ages eighteen to twenty-five seeking material for working-class, Everyman, Girl Next Door, or young professional casting categories. It is well suited for self-tapes, agent showcases, and general scene study practice, functioning essentially as a sharp two-hander with a minimal third-party interruption.

    Performance Tips

    Actors portraying Dante should resist playing the frustration as one continuous loud shout, instead allowing the surprise to register through physical deflation, breathlessness, and genuine emotional disorientation. The actor playing Veronica should avoid sounding overly defensive early on, letting her initial casualness contrast directly with Dante's mounting hysteria. Take full advantage of the customer interaction to create a sharp comedic beat, showing how both characters attempt to mask their private fury behind customer service politeness before immediately plunging back into the feud.

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