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    duologue
    Comedy

    Canine Diabetes

    from How I Met Your Mother

    Emmy Winner

    Written by Carter Bays

    How I Met Your Mother

    1 min · 2 characters · Female · 25-35

    Lily tries to discuss wedding cake options while Marshall becomes convinced he has diabetes after misreading a veterinary medical website.

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    Scene PreviewExcerpt — subscribe to read full scene

    LILY

    What kind of wedding cake would you prefer: Chocolate Layer or Tahitian Vanilla?

    MARSHALL

    I have diabetes!

    LILY

    So...something sugar free?

    MARSHALL

    Listen to this: “Diabetes. Symptoms include: Nausea.” Check. “Dry mouth.” Got it. “Increased urination.” Like a firehose.

    MARSHALL

    “Loss of sheen on coat. Less playful, doesn’t want to go on walks.”

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    Written by Carter Bays for the Emmy-winning contemporary comedy How I Met Your Mother, this one-minute comedic duologue captures the humorous friction between two long-term partners. Lily attempts to discuss wedding cake options, but the conversation is derailed when Marshall spirals into panic, convinced he has a serious illness after misreading a veterinary medical website. The scene contrasts practical relationship responsibilities with sudden, absurd hypochondria.

    Character Analysis

    Lily, a twenty-seven-year-old schoolteacher, embodies the grounded and practical partner trying to handle adult tasks like wedding planning. She cares deeply for Marshall but becomes exasperated by his tendency to avoid conflict, pushing him to develop a stronger backbone for his future legal career. Marshall, also twenty-seven, is an earnest, anxious law student prone to dramatic overthinking. His eager, conflict-avoidant nature makes him instinctively defer to Lily, even when trying to defend his mistaken medical diagnosis.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    This scene offers rapid-fire banter and sharp comic timing within a concise, accessible format. It demonstrates an actor's ability to ground broad situational comedy in authentic relationship chemistry. The dialogue features clear comedic reversals, giving performers an efficient showcase for contemporary television rhythms without requiring elaborate exposition or complex staging.

    Best Suited For

    This piece is ideal for performers aged 25 to 35 auditioning for casting types such as Comic Relief, Everyman, Girl Next Door, Young Professional, and general Comedic categories. Its fast pace and lighthearted tone make it an exceptional choice for self-tape submissions, agent showcases, and general comedic practice.

    Performance Tips

    Treat the stakes of the scene as completely genuine rather than playing purely for laughs. Marshall's hypochondria works best when the fear feels real to him, allowing the canine misunderstanding to hit with organic comedic impact. Lily should ground her reactions in warm familiarity, balancing her obvious irritation with the deep affection she holds for her partner. Keep the cue-to-cue timing tight, making sure the final back-and-forth reflects a well-worn relationship habit rather than a generic disagreement.

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