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    Dark Comedy

    The Mark and Elizabeth Charade

    from Sardines

    Written by Steve Pemberton, Reece Shearsmith

    Sardines

    While hiding in a wardrobe during a game of sardines, a group of guests is forced to overhear a cynical and sexually charged private conversation between their snobbish hosts. The tension rises as the hiders realize they have waited too long to reveal themselves, leading to an increasingly awkward and claustrophobic predicament.

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    Scene PreviewExcerpt — subscribe to read full scene

    ELIZABETH

    Have you got rid of him?

    MARK

    Yes, he’s off looking for the others. God I loathe playing other people’s family games, it’s such a bore.

    ELIZABETH

    We’ve done long enough now. You said we’d be out by three.

    MARK

    Well why didn’t you just do the lie about the baby-sitter getting ill?

    ELIZABETH

    Because that needs to be seeded. You need to seed it.

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    "The Mark and Elizabeth Charade" from the film *Sardines* offers a deliciously uncomfortable slice of dark comedy, perfectly encapsulating the cynical and manipulative tone of its source material. This group scene plunges audiences into a claustrophobic social nightmare, as guests hiding in a wardrobe during a game of sardines are forced to become unwilling eavesdroppers. They overhear their snobbish hosts, Mark and Elizabeth, engaging in a private conversation that is both sexually charged and revealing of their true, self-serving natures, making for an increasingly awkward and hilarious predicament.

    Character Analysis

    Mark and Elizabeth are presented as tall, elegant, and well-dressed snobs in their 30s-40s, embodying the upper-class type with a sharp edge of cynicism. Mark is a calculating businessman, willing to tolerate "tedious" individuals for professional gain, revealing a manipulative streak beneath his charming exterior. Elizabeth is equally snobbish and cunning, adept at social manipulation, as evidenced by her understanding of "seeding" excuses to leave social gatherings. The hidden characters—Rebecca, Rachel, Ian, and Geraldine—represent a spectrum of reactions to extreme social awkwardness, from Rebecca's pragmatic resignation to Rachel's escalating panic and Geraldine's desperate, albeit hilarious, attempt to break the tension.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    This scene is an excellent choice for auditions because it showcases a wide range of comedic and dramatic abilities within a compressed timeframe. Actors can demonstrate their capacity for subtle, internal reactions while eavesdropping, as well as their command of physical comedy in a confined space. The sharp, cynical dialogue between Mark and Elizabeth allows for strong character choices and excellent verbal sparring, while the reactions of the hidden guests provide opportunities for nuanced non-verbal performance and escalating tension. This group format allows casting directors to see how actors interact and build chemistry, even when the interaction is built on discomfort.

    Best Suited For

    This scene is particularly well-suited for actors in their 30s-40s who excel in dark comedy and characters with a cynical, manipulative edge. It's ideal for those wanting to showcase their ability to play upper-class, business executive, or socialite types, especially if they can lean into the quirky and snobbish aspects. Actors comfortable with physical comedy and generating tension in claustrophobic settings will find this piece extremely rewarding. It works wonderfully for agent showcases, self-tapes, and general practice, offering a distinctive and memorable audition piece.

    Performance Tips

    When performing as Mark or Elizabeth, lean into their snobbishness and underlying manipulation, letting their true characters slowly reveal themselves through their dialogue and private intimacy. For the hidden characters, focus on the escalating discomfort and the internal struggle of whether or not to reveal yourselves, allowing silent reactions to speak volumes. Pay close attention to the specific physical and vocal cues in the script, such as Rachel's whispers or Ian's "too subtle" breath. The key is to build the tension gradually, making the final, sudden outburst from Geraldine feel both shocking and inevitable, delivering a satisfying comedic release.

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