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monologue
Comedy-Drama

Wednesday's Ultimatum to Thing

from Wednesday

Written by Alfred Gough, Miles Millar

Wednesday

Wednesday Addams catches Thing spying on her and subjects him to a cold, calculated interrogation. She successfully coerces him into switching his loyalty from her parents to her, establishing her dominance and enlisting him in her plan to escape Nevermore Academy.

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WEDNESDAY

Did you really think that my highly trained olfactory sense wouldn’t pick up the faint whiff of neroli and bergamot in your favorite hand lotion?

WEDNESDAY

I can do this all day long. Surrender?

WEDNESDAY

Mother and Father sent you to spy on me, didn’t they?

WEDNESDAY

I’m not above breaking a few fingers.

WEDNESDAY

The fact that they thought…

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

This monologue offers a fantastic opportunity to explore a character who is both highly intelligent and darkly manipulative. Wednesday Addams delivers a calculated ultimatum to Thing, her disembodied hand companion, after discovering he has been spying on her. The scene showcases her ability to assert dominance and orchestrate outcomes, ultimately coercing Thing into switching his loyalty from her parents to her own burgeoning agenda.

Character Analysis

Wednesday is presented as a sharp, intense, and somewhat isolated teenager with an anti-heroic streak. She is incredibly observant, as evidenced by her instant recognition of Thing's hand lotion, and possesses a cynical view of her parents' intentions. Her methods are direct and unwavering, using veiled threats and psychological pressure to achieve her goals. While she projects an aura of detachment, there's a clear undercurrent of ambition and a desire for independence driving her actions.

Why This Works for Auditions

This monologue is excellent for auditions because it demonstrates a wide range of acting skills within a controlled, contemporary dramatic comedy setting. It allows an actor to showcase strong direct address, quick shifts in tone from cold interrogation to strategic persuasion, and the ability to command a scene even when interacting with an unseen "character." The dark humor embedded in Wednesday's lines also provides an opportunity to display comedic timing without sacrificing the intensity of the character.

Best Suited For

This scene is perfectly suited for teenage actors or those who can convincingly portray a teenager, particularly those looking to audition for roles that require an outsider, intense, or quirky personality. It's ideal for actors who excel at playing characters with a strong internal monologue and an air of calculated control. This piece would shine in both a general practice setting and for self-tapes where a unique and memorable performance is key.

Performance Tips

When performing this monologue, focus on Wednesday's unwavering conviction and her strategic mind. Maintain excellent eye contact, even with an imaginary Thing, to convey her dominance and the intensity of her interrogation. Pay close attention to her word choice and use of subtle manipulation; every line is delivered with a purpose. Embrace the dark humor not by playing for laughs, but by allowing Wednesday's dry wit and self-assuredness to naturally emerge from her dialogue.

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