Film
monologue
Comedy-Drama
Drama

The Five Rules of Customer Service

from Everything Must Go

Written by Dan Rush, Raymond Carver

Everything Must Go

Nick delivers a professional yet weary refresher on the basics of customer service to his colleagues, emphasizing knowledge and reliability.

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NICK

...I want to finish up with a little refresher...

NICK

I know you all have heard it before, but I’ve been going over the May numbers and a little review of the basics won’t hurt.

NICK

So today, I give you the “Five Rules of Customer Service.” One - know your products. Whether it’s a PC or a piece of paper. Know how it works. Know how to use it.…

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

This monologue, "The Five Rules of Customer Service," features Nick, a character in his 40s from *Everything Must Go*. Nick delivers a refresher on fundamental customer service principles to his colleagues. While the subject matter is corporate, an underlying weariness hints at deeper personal circumstances informing Nick's professional demeanor. This piece blends comedy and drama, allowing an actor to explore the nuances of a character performing a professional duty while battling internal struggles.

Character Analysis

Nick is portrayed as an authoritative figure, capable of leading a presentation and commanding attention from his peers, even with a hint of reluctance or familiarity in their reaction. His past accolades, like "Most Inspirational Employee," suggest a history of dedication and professional success. However, the described "weary" aspect implies a character enduring a challenging period, making his steadfast adherence to professional rules a coping mechanism or a desperate attempt at control. He embodies the 'Everyman' casting type, someone relatable yet complex, driven by a need for reliability and knowledge for himself and those he instructs.

Why This Works for Auditions

This monologue is excellent for auditions because it showcases an actor's ability to layer performance, delivering a professional presentation while subtly conveying deeper emotional undertones. It requires precise comedic timing for the "Bob" joke, followed by a quick return to authority, demonstrating range within a short duration. The "powerful" tone coupled with its "comedy-drama" genre offers a versatile acting challenge, allowing performers to explore sincerity, weariness, and underlying passion within the context of everyday corporate life. It's a fantastic choice for both agent showcases and self-tapes, providing ample opportunity to display professionalism and nuanced character work.

Best Suited For

This scene is particularly well-suited for male actors aged 35-45 looking to portray a character with gravitas and hidden depths. It's ideal for those aiming for 'Everyman' or 'Business Executive' roles, and also works for 'Authority Figure' or 'Working Class' types embodying professional pride. Actors capable of conveying quiet desperation or resilience beneath a composed exterior will find this piece rewarding. Its contemporary setting and themes of professionalism and sales make it relevant for a wide array of modern casting calls.

Performance Tips

When approaching this monologue, focus on Nick's journey within the scene, considering what truly motivates his seemingly routine refresher. While the words are about customer service, imagine Nick's personal stakes, which could manifest as quiet intensity or a desperate plea for order and control. Pay attention to the comedic beats, like the mention of "Bob," ensuring the delivery lands naturally without undermining the serious intent. Use vocal variations to distinguish factual rules from implied personal frustrations, allowing underlying weariness to subtly inform your otherwise authoritative tone.

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