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    Comedy

    The Thanksgiving Pageant Monologue

    from Addams Family Values

    Written by Paul Rudnick

    Addams Family Values

    During a forced Thanksgiving pageant at summer camp, Wednesday Addams goes off-script to deliver a scathing indictment of colonialism before leading a revolt. She contrasts the future suffering of indigenous people with the mundane luxuries of the pilgrims.

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    WEDNESDAY ADDAMS

    We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now, my people will be forced to live in mobile homes, on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the roadside. You will play golf and enjoy hot hors d'oeuvres. My people will have pain and…

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    Scene Notes & Audition Tips

    5 sections
    About This Scene

    Taken from the contemporary dark comedy film Addams Family Values by screenwriter Paul Rudnick, this one-minute monologue captures an iconic moment of summer camp rebellion. Cast against her will in a forced Thanksgiving pageant, Wednesday Addams completely abandons the cheerful approved script to deliver a scathing critique of colonial history. Standing before her shallow camp counselors and peers, she contrasts the future struggles of indigenous people against the mundane luxuries of the settlers before igniting an all-out revolt.

    Character Analysis

    Wednesday Addams is the quintessential outsider, defined by an unwavering poise, razor-sharp intellect, and an unnervingly calm demeanor. Unlike typical teenagers who express rebellion through vocal frustration, Wednesday channels her resentment into chilling precision and dry satire. Beneath her quiet stillness lies a potent inner fire and an appetite for vengeance, making her a fiercely independent figure who refuses to be reshaped by peer pressure or forced cheerfulness.

    Why This Works for Auditions

    Running for approximately one minute, this selection demonstrates an actor's command of deadpan comedy and quiet vocal control. The writing hinges on sharp contrasts between heavy historical weight and trivial modern amenities, demanding precise comedic timing rather than overplayed physical gestures. It provides a distinct character choice for casting directors, proving that an actor can hold an entire room captive through stillness and subtle authority alone.

    Best Suited For

    This piece is an exceptional match for young female actors under eighteen searching for material for drama school auditions, general practice, self-tapes, or monologue competitions. It is tailor-made for character actors naturally suited to outsider, rebel, and intense teen casting types who want to show off their dry comedic instincts.

    Performance Tips

    Resist any temptation to play the jokes or signal to the audience that the situation is humorous. Wednesday treats this speech as a solemn, binding declaration of war, so deliver each line with absolute earnestness and minimal facial movement. Anchor your physical posture in total stillness and keep your vocal pacing deliberate, ensuring that each vivid contrast lands before you deliver the chilling final threat.

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