Craig Schwartz interviews for a filing position at the bizarre LesterCorp, located on the 7 1/2 floor of an office building. The eccentric Dr. Lester tests Craig's filing skills with nonsensical questions and reveals his delusional belief that he suffers from a severe speech impediment.
LESTER: Come in, Mr. Juarez. I'd stand, but, well, you know.
CRAIG: Actually, my name is Craig Schwartz, Dr. Lester.
LESTER: Security.
CRAIG: No, it's okay, sir. Just a mixup with your secretary.
LESTER: She's not my secretary. She's what they call an executive liaison, and I'm not banging her, if that's what you’re implying.
Format: Duologue · Genre: Comedy · Source: Being John Malkovich · Author: Charlie Kaufman · Characters: Lester, Craig
This comedic duologue, extracted from the film "Being John Malkovich," introduces us to the exceedingly bizarre world of LesterCorp and its equally peculiar owner, Dr. Lester. The scene unfolds as Craig Schwartz, an applicant seeking a filing position, attempts to navigate an interview process that quickly veers into the absurd. It's a masterclass in eccentric character interaction, showcasing a man utterly convinced of a fictional affliction and another trying to maintain professional composure amidst utter chaos.
Craig, in his 30s, embodies the "Everyman" archetype, initially entering the scene with a sense of hopeful normalcy that is swiftly eroded by the interview. He is observant, patient, and attempts to apply logic to an illogical situation, representing the audience's bewildered perspective. Dr. Lester, aged 70s+, is the epitome of a "Quirky" and "Authority Figure." He is delusional, manipulative, and deeply entrenched in his self-created reality, making him fantastically difficult to pin down. His character demands a performance that balances the comedic and the slightly melancholic, revealing a character who might genuinely believe his own fantastical narratives.
This scene is an excellent choice for auditions due to its strong comedic timing and the clear contrast between the two characters, offering both actors significant opportunities to shine. The "Absurdist" and "Quirky" tone allows for bold, memorable choices, while the underlying current of a "slightly melancholic" character in Lester adds depth. Its contained nature and distinctive dialogue make it a standout for showcasing an actor's ability to create a compelling character in a short amount of time.
This scene is ideally suited for actors looking to showcase their comedic chops with a touch of character work. It's particularly effective for those who can portray a grounded character reacting to outlandish circumstances (Craig) or an eccentric figure with peculiar mannerisms (Lester). Its clear age ranges and gender specifications make it a precise fit for male actors in their 30s ("Everyman," "Comedic") and 70s+ ("Character Actor," "Quirky," "Authority Figure"). This duologue is perfect for agent showcases, self-tapes, or general practice to hone character-driven comedy.
For Craig, focus on maintaining a sense of bewildered patience and subtle reactions to Lester's increasingly strange pronouncements. Your objective is not to be as outlandish as Lester, but to ground the scene in relatable incredulity, making Lester's quirks even funnier by contrast. For Lester, embrace the delusion fully; your conviction in your "speech impediment" is key to the humor and pathos. Explore vocal choices that hint at his age and eccentricity, and consider how a character so divorced from reality might still possess a manipulative edge. Both actors should pay close attention to pacing, allowing the audience to absorb the bizarre humor unfolding.