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monologue
Comedy

Dromio of Ephesus: An Ass Indeed

from The Comedy of Errors

Written by William Shakespeare

Dromio of Ephesus laments his constant mistreatment and physical abuse at the hands of his master, comparing his life to that of a beast of burden.

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DROMIO OF EPHESUS

I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me with beating.

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Scene Notes & Audition Tips

5 sections
About This Scene

Featured in William Shakespeare's classical play The Comedy of Errors, this brisk monologue captures servant Dromio of Ephesus airing his grievances. He laments the continuous cycle of mistreatment and physical beatings he receives at the hands of his master, comparing his station to that of a literal beast of burden. The piece blends absurd exaggeration with grounded working-class frustration, offering a sharp slice of classical physical comedy.

Character Analysis

Dromio of Ephesus is a loyal yet sorely tested servant whose survival strategy relies on dry wit and self-deprecating humor. Although he describes a life filled with relentless blows and exhaustion, he never devolves into true victimhood or hopeless despair. Instead, he transforms his hardships into rapid-fire comedic storytelling, using vivid metaphors to highlight the absurdity of his master's temper. He represents the quintessential comic sidekick who remains clever, resilient, and deeply expressive despite his circumstances.

Why This Works for Auditions

Running at approximately one minute, this audition piece moves with relentless momentum and demands precise comedic timing. The speech allows you to show drama school panels and casting directors that you can navigate Shakespearean text with conversational ease. Its built-in contrasts and rhythmic complaints offer endless physical choices without requiring expansive props or complex stage setups. It proves your ability to balance heightened classical language with accessible, grounded humor.

Best Suited For

This selection is ideal for male performers aged eighteen to twenty-five who excel in character actor and comic relief casting brackets. It is particularly well suited for drama school auditions that require a classical comedic monologue under two minutes. Actors preparing for classical competitions or looking to refine their comic delivery through general practice will also find it to be an invaluable study piece.

Performance Tips

Focus on the contrasting states described throughout the complaint, varying your pitch and physical posture to highlight the repetitive nature of the servant's routine. Avoid playing purely for self-pity; the humor blooms when Dromio treats his constant beatings as an outrageous, almost theatrical fact of life. Maintain an active physical connection so that every strike mentioned echoes in your body language. Keep your tempo brisk, trusting the rhythm of the text to carry the comedic payoff to its final beat.

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