A pompous Member of Parliament, Robert Crawshaw, is confronted with a bizarre inheritance that requires him to change his name to the ridiculous 'Wurzel-Flummery'. After initially dismissing the offer as a prank, Crawshaw's greed overcomes his dignity as he attempts to justify accepting the money as a 'sacred duty'.
CRAWSHAW: Mr. Clifton, I have no interest in the present whereabouts of your uncle, nor in what means he has of overhearing a private conversation between you and myself. But if, as you irreverently suggest, he is listening to us, I should like him to hear this.
CLIFTON: Pardon my interrupting. But you said farces. Not farces, comedies—of a whimsical nature.
…
Format: Duologue · Genre: comedy · Source: Wurzel-flummery · Author: A. A. Milne · Characters: Crawshaw, Clifton
This duologue, titled "Crawshaw Accepts the Name" from A. A. Milne's play Wurzel-flummery, offers a deliciously comedic exploration of human vanity versus monetary gain. It features Robert Crawshaw, a pompous Member of Parliament, initially expressing outrage and indignation at a bizarre inheritance condition requiring him to change his name to 'Wurzel-Flummery'. However, as the scene progresses, the allure of fifty thousand pounds proves too strong for Crawshaw's professed dignity, leading to a hilariously hypocritical shift in his stance.
Crawshaw is a magnificent study in bluster and suppressed avarice, portraying an "Authority Figure" or "Politician" archetypal character. He begins with an air of dismissive superiority, attempting to assert intellectual and moral high ground. His tone is initially formal and indignant, filled with condemnation and veiled threats, but this facade rapidly crumbles when the financial reality sinks in. The transition from outrage to pragmatic, albeit self-serving, justification of his greed provides rich comedic potential for an actor.
This scene is superb for auditions because it showcases a significant character arc and a clear shift in motivation within a short timeframe. Actors can demonstrate excellent control over tone, tempo, and physical comedy as Crawshaw moves from indignant dismissal to eager acceptance. The crisp, witty dialogue, characteristic of Milne, allows for precise comedic timing and the opportunity to make strong, memorable choices in showcasing a "Comedic" or "Character Actor" casting type.
This duologue is ideally suited for male actors in the 40s-60s age range, particularly those who excel at portraying "Upper Class" characters with a slightly pompous or arrogant edge. It’s an excellent choice for "drama-school-audition" pieces, "general-practice" for honing comedic skills, or for use in "competition" settings where a strong character portrayal and clear comedic impact are desired. Actors who enjoy playing characters with a clear inner conflict between reputation and material gain will find this scene particularly rewarding.
When approaching Crawshaw, emphasize his initial indignation with a controlled, almost theatrical formality, establishing his supposed moral superiority. Pay close attention to the moment of realization when the fifty thousand pounds is confirmed; this is your pivot point. From there, gradually build the justification for his acceptance, using vocal shifts and perhaps subtle physical gestures that betray his underlying excitement and greed. The humor lies in the stark contrast between his initial outrage and his subsequent, incredibly specious, rationalization.